So after years of marital bliss your wife is asking you for a divorce? And you can't help wondering what went wrong and what can you do to save your marriage. It extremely sad that these things happen, but they do, more often than you may think. Maybe you need to work out a plan and use some tried and tested techniques to get your wife back. You might like to consider some of these techniques:
First things first - sit back and reflect on how your marriage developed over the years. Were there quite a few problems between the two of you? Or were you relatively happy? Do you think you played an active role in your wife's decision to call it off? Try to answer these questions as honestly as possible. You may not like what you come up with and looking back can be painful, but it's important to try and understand what went wrong. It would be a good idea to ask your close ones for their opinion, ideally someone from the opposite sex. This'll give you a perspective that's objective and you'll also get insights into a woman's mind.
Come what may, don't try to get your wife back immediately, not before you've thought things through and accepted or realized certain 'truths'. It's also critical to give your ex wife some space and allow her anger to cool down. Don't call and beg her to come back to you! Now's not a good time. Let her start missing you first... In the meantime, continue asking yourself questions: Would you say your relationship improved after you got married? Or did it go downhill real quick? Do you think getting back together is really what your wife wants? Do you still feel the love? Put yourself in her shoes to figure out if you have the qualities she wants in a man? Also consider if she's the right woman for you and can you live with her faults? If you come up with the realization that you can't accept her the way she is, maybe a timeout is a good idea. It'll give you more clarity if you want each other back at all.
On giving it deeper thought, if you truly feel that there are irreconcilable differences that can't go away, then it's likely that your marriage will always be rocky, since you won't be able to keep it together for long even if your wife does come back. The same problems will keep cropping up, leading to a final split. But on reflection, if you think there are certain things you both can work on, all is not lost as long as both of you are willing to do your bit.
Once you've sorted out your mind and heart, make a move. If you want to get your wife back more than ever, accept responsibility for the mistakes you've made. Give your wife a call and ask her out to dinner. Go out of your way to make it a special evening. Let her know how much you love her and remind her of the good times you had together.
Over the course of the evening, suggest that the two of you can work out your differences. Be positive and tender. After all, you love each other and that's all that matters. Suggest how you're willing to change and make amends. In between, make sure there are light moments where you laugh together or remember something funny from your past! Be attentive to her every need and don't get volatile or negative come what may. You need to be sensitive, mature and caring.
In your eagerness to get your wife back, don't bend over backwards by trying to become someone you're not. You need to be sincere towards yourself as well as her. It's an important factor to make a relationship work.