Divorce is a tough thing to go through. Especially when you don't want the divorce. It can feel like you're watching your life happen to someone else and that you are completely powerless to have any impact on what is going on at all.
No one likes to feel that way. In the end, it leaves you asking a lot of questions along the lines of "How do I focus on life after divorce?" and "How do I get my wife back?"
Those are great questions to ask at a time like this. You're probably feeling a little bit of resentment. A little confusion. Perhaps a LOT of anger. You hate feeling like you're not the master of your own destiny. You hate the loss of power and control over your life.
You hate hurting so much. All you want is for the pain to end.
Since the pain began when you lost your wife, your simple solution for solving the problem (your pain) is to get your wife back. Unfortunately there's a little bit of false logic there.
You see, there is damage that has been done to your marriage. Finding out how to get your ex back isn't going to fix what's broken. Even if you think it's fixed all you've really done is put one of those really big pretty Disney princess Band-Aids® on it.
Nothing has been fixed. Nothing has been resolved. It's just a quick fix that won't be a lasting solution.
So, if it's impossible to get your wife back, how do you focus on life after divorce?
First, you realize that it's not impossible to get your wife back. If that's what you want, more than anything else, it's possible and you can do it. You're just going to have to figure out what the real problem in your marriage is and be willing to pay the price of fixing it (even if it's not something you really want to fix) in order to save your marriage.
What do you need to do to get your ex back then?
It's not like the two of you are on speaking terms or anything like that right now, is it? That means that you're going to have to work extra hard to make your absence felt in her life. You need to make sure that she notices the hole that was left behind when your marriage ended.